Broken Remains
by trixxycullen02
Summary: "There is no armour against fate" - JAMES SHIRLEY. Edward left in order to protect Bella but what if her fate of joining the undead would become inevitable? And what will happen when they meet each other again in very strange and unexpected circumstances? Will Bella be able to forgive Edward or the Cullens?
1. My End

**MY END**

_**"One lives in the hope of becoming a memory" - Antonio Porchia**_

**Songs: The Rasmus - In The Shadows**

**Coldplay - Clocks**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of Stephenie Meyers characters, I just make them DANCE **

**A/N: Had this saved for a while…Always loved reading the fanfictions where Edward leaves and I was inspired...**

After multitudes of goodbyes from Jacob, the rest of the pack and Emily, I had finally escaped and found myself back into the sanctuary of my beloved truck. Although, Jake was the only one still standing on the porch, as he eagerly waved to me. I laughed at the absurdity of him still sticking around in the rain but I still returned the goodbye with an awkward wave while using the other hand to strap myself in.

As I backed away from his gravel driveway and headed onwards the road, I could still see him watching me with his arms crossed over his chest through the rear mirror. I don't know why he was so worried; we both knew that Sam and Paul would already be waiting in the forests, outside my house as it was their turn to patrol. Good thing too, because I was starting to worry about Jake's health. He insisted on patrolling almost every night but I fought against him today. The purple circles had become more evident and when I went to see him and he'd practically slurred all his words which caused a round of chuckles and mockery on his part.

Overall it had been a great night, me and Emily had made snacks including nachos and homemade salsa, guacamole, baked some muffins and an apple pie to which we ate whilst playing different board games. Me winning in Scrabble which had them all grumpy as I was way ahead but before finishing the game, they all threw their letters at me causing erupts of laughter. Next game Jacob had decided to choose something that wasn't based on intellect on my part – his words not mind, we'd played monopoly and Seth ended up winning as he bought the best places causing us to all go bankrupt. We ended the game with the pack trying to teach me how to play poker, to my surprise I'd caught on quickly and before we could try out a proper game without Emily guiding me, I knew I had to get home to Charlie and cook for him so I promised we'd play tomorrow.

Jake had guided me outside and I didn't miss his fingertips placed lightly around my back as he directed me outside. As always, he'd placed a kiss to my cheek but this time, I'd unconsciously found myself inclining my head so that my lips would touch his but I restrained myself knowing my reasons behind the kiss would not be right.

He deserved better, he deserved a girl who wouldn't use him to feel alike she was moving on. A girl that would say she only loves him and would mean it. A girl that was sure of her love for him, and would never give it up for anything ... or anyone. A girl... That wasn't me.

No matter how much I wished I could be that girl, I knew I never would be. Even if...Edward... **(flinch)** did not exist in my world anymore. I was surprised with how the pain in my chest wasn't as great anymore when I thought of him but I knew better than to experiment on this while driving. As a distraction, I turned on the radio and no - it wasn't the one from my birthday because I'd ripped that one out and stashed it at the back of my wardrobe but thankfully got Jake to fix in a new one, without questioning my sanity.

**_Ramones' In the shadows_** slowly overwhelmed my truck and I increased the volume until it pulsed through my veins and thumped in my head, clouding the once darkening memories that had threatened to fill my mind. It had taken about three months until I began to listen to music again but instead of the classical shit I had liked before; I'd reverted to loud rock and some alternative and indie bands like Coldplay, Florence and the machine, Stars and Muse. Pop still annoyed the fuck out of me and that was NOT changing any time soon.

The changes could be explained with four months ago because when I jumped off that cliff, I knew I had died. I'd killed the old Bella who was all doom and gloom replacing her with fun, confident but 'take no one's shit' me. I'd even gone to the lengths of dyeing my hair a rich burgundy but still kept the make up to a minimum apart from when me, Emily and Leah went out. Occasionally, I would wear a dark red lipstick and minimum grey smoky eye shadow but only special occasions. Another thing that didn't change was me in heels. Last weekend, it was girls night and even though Emily had told me to put on her black strappy heels, I'd kindly declined and worn my black strapless dress that reached mid thigh but with my maroon converses. It was amusing to Leah and the rest of the pack but Emily did not think so. My reply to her was "deal with it".

Everything had changed for me from that moment my body crashed into the icy cold water, including my view of the world. When I'd leapt of the edge, adrenaline had coursed through my veins but when hitting the water, my fear had set in and as I sank to the bottom, I remember the feeling of helplessness and fatigue, not even considering trying to save myself – I didn't seem worth saving at the moment. I mean, what would my death do to the world – just losing me wouldn't change anything. At that moment I'd given up and became content with staying in the water as I saw the hallucination of my lost beloved. In my mind, I had decided that it was my time to go and be at peace..

It had been my end but my whole perspective had changed when I woke up from the catatonic slumber and broke from the darkness when looking up to Jacob's worried face. Being woken up created conflicting emotions. I did not know if I was relieved to be alive or disappointed that I'd continue living with the ache in my chest. It got worst when Jake told me of Harry's heart attack and how he'd died. Thinking about this again, provoked the guilt that consumed me but had blurred with time.

Before I could drive myself to insanity with my whirling thoughts, a clunk sound coming from the back of my truck caused me to gasp and when the truck jumped and then dropped, jolting me in my seat. If I hadn't put on my seatbelt, I would've probably bumped my head onto the glass.

My breathing had accelerated so I placed a hand to my chest from the shock, feeling how my heartbeat was so fast and I could hear the thumping in my ears. Fear began to creep up on me with the eerie silence in the atmosphere. It also didn't help with the fact that I was unaware of the lurking creatures behind the endlessness of the crowded trees.

My mind began to wheel fast, telling me I needed to run, goosebumps formed on my skin and the hair on the back of my neck stand up in attention. My eyes diverted to both sides in search of anything that could clue me in to the source of the sound but all I saw was blank darkness. With a shaky, trembling fingers, I reached for the handle in painfully slow fashion but the whispered creak sounded really loud, torturing my ear drums in the compact space of the truck. Carefully, I slid out of my seat and out of the truck, my eyes still warily searching my surrounding but not capturing anything out of the ordinary.

_Come on Bella, dine with wolves and make out with a vampire but this is what scares you?_

My conscience mocked me so I jutted out my chin bravely and hopped out of the truck, ignoring the loud voice in my mind that warned me this was a bad idea.

_Abort! Abort! Abort! _But me being the Sherlock Holmes wannabe continued on to search the origin of the noise. Air deflated my lungs in relief when seeing that it had just been a flat tire – probably I bumped into a jagged rock. Leaning down, I inspected the minor damage but I knew I'd have to change the tire, especially with the chief of Police as my father where safety was the first priority. Placing my hands on my knees, I released a shaky chuckle over my paranoia and stood up to get the spare but froze when I was met with shadowed silhouette, casually perched on the roof of my truck.

Even in the dim light from the moon, I could still make out the unruly bright red waves, untamed with a life of its own, whipping around in the breeze which suddenly ran down my spine and I stood there struck with fear as I stared at my fate before me. Her bright scarlet eyes mocked at me and I knew she was waiting for me to begin to run but it seemed my legs couldn't move so I remained immobilised.

Eerie silence crackled in the air between us and the only sound was my heavy breaths which I knew were numbered now with her presence.

"Hello dear Isabella" she purred her greeting in her childlike voice but the underlying menace could easily be detected. Guess she was tired of waiting for me to make a move and run.

"Victoria" my voice was gruff, scratching at my throat as it escaped my lips in a hoarse whisper in the cold night.

With ease, she hopped off the high surface planting her feet in front of me. Her defined features were now more vivid as she stood closer to me. Her blood-red eyes were more menacing up close as she stared me down with a sadistic smirk. "Glad you remember", it was stranger how light her voice was in contrast of her character. Looking at her, I found she was dressed in low-cut denim jeans, a green short sleeved top and matching black boots. If someone saw her they'd think she's just another person (excluding the eyes of course).

"Where's dear Edward?" she asked innocently and then narrowed her eyes, so I was guessing she caught on to my unintentional wince. Where did he have to affect me in such a way? I'd give anything to simply forget about him and get on with my life but that had proven to be impossible.

Jutting out my jaw, hoping to maintain the calm mask, "I don't know" was my clever answer. Thankfully, the hoarseness of my voice wasn't so transparent as I tried my best to act indifferent by crossing my arms over my chest. She giggled lightly then began to circle me as if stalking her prey which was exactly the truth.

Suddenly, she chuckled in glee, clearly enjoying this too much, "You don't know?" she questioned from behind me but I didn't dare to move even when her hot breath moved in closer to my neck. It's not the best feeling having a vampire so close to my neck but I still didn't move. Her cold fingers grabbed the locks of my hair and pulled them back to expose my neck more but still... I didn't move…although my breathing did accelerate as did my heartbeat.

"H-he le-left" Clenching my fists by my side, and squeezing my eyes shut, I mentally berated myself for the involuntary stuttering.

Thankfully she didn't comment on it as she continued to circle me before stopping in front of me. "Aw...my heart bleeds for you" her heavy sarcasm flared my anger which mingled with the fear that crept up knowing my life was in her very capable hands. "Well...what to do now?"

'You could let me go' I wanted to say but I knew that would be useless so I gulped and forced the sternness into my words, "What do you mean?"

She crossed her arms, a small crease between her brows as she calculated something, "Well I was hoping that he'd be here to watch his mate die" she admitted.

Instead of fear taking over me, I felt the anger swoop in making me clench my jaw, "He wasn't my mate" I spat out with fierce anger although I knew it was a defence mechanism, "He never loved me" the words brought tears to my eyes that now broke the tough exterior I'd worked so hard on putting on.

Reason I kept turning to anger was because it was easier that dealing with the bullshit heartache and I-I j – I just couldn't do that.

Victoria, oblivious to my inner turmoil, stared off into the distance in her own thoughts, "That does change things..." she muttered, the crease now more profound on her forehead and for a second I prayed that she would let me go.

Without another word, she simply turned around and began to walk away from me and I stared in disbelief after her. Blinking to clear my sight, it didn't change the scene as she continued down the deserted road, the clacking of her heels fading...

The weight of the situation hit me so I ran to my truck before she changed her mind. However, before I could enter the truck, I heard her voice clear as day as she snarled. "Although I am starving" which was then accompanied, the feel of her sharp teeth digging into my neck, halting the readied scream that now gurgled in my throat. Blood was being drained from my system and I felt as the muscles constrict as my body weakened under her vice grip.

Memories flashed in my mind as she continued to drink. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, the pack, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Edward….

When he saved me…In our meadow…In the ballet studio…In hospital…As he held me to sleep…Playing the piano...Dancing with him...Whispering sweet nothings in my ear...Kissing me...Holding me...Edward. I had loved him with ever fibre of my being and I'd been willing to give up my human life just to be with his family.

Now that I was on the brink of death – I could only feel anger, that I had wasted half my life pining for someone that disappointed me with promises of forever. Anger for someone that made me believe in something as ridiculous as love.

The burning hate was the last thing I remembered before succumbing to the awaiting darkness that held my death...

**A/N: What do you think? Please review for more... **


	2. My Beginning

**MY BEGINNING**

**Songs: Ms Mr - Bones**

**_"What is to give light must endure burning" _****- Viktor E. Frankl**

**A/N: Thank you for the amazing reviews. Sorry for the delay but I hope this chapter makes up for it. **

_Fire was all that consumed me - flames licking at my body, engulfing my heart and bounding my mind in its raging torture. No other thoughts could roam freely in my mind and distract me as all that dominated my thoughts was how my body felt ignited – like I was set alight. Concentration was at loss along with my sanity. Words or sounds couldn't escape my mouth so no help would be coming for me. Combustion took place even stronger than before if that was even possible and I tried to move but to no avail. I just had to lay there and take it. There were no words in the English language that could comprehend or even justify the intensity of the pain that I was in right now. _

_Endless minutes felt like everlasting days but it made no difference to count the time as the pain was still there. Death should overtake me because would me much better than this kind of infinite torture. As the burning intensified so did my longing for death. I could feel the psychosis creep up on me slowly no matter how hard I tried to ignore it but it was hopeless._

_Soon as I could at least count, the minutes stretched into hours and the hours turned into forever ending days. I found that as long as I could count, I didn't have to concentrate on the pain but I also think that the aching had been there for so long that I couldn't really imagine anything without it so I was kinda immune to it but I could still feel it. None of that really made sense to me but my mind wasn't really sane at the minute. _

_17866 seconds later I finally started to breathe easily, well easier than before and that I could think around the pain. Not clear direct thoughts but small fragments that would shift rapidly into different topics. A spiral of different notions and concepts ran through me and it was very difficult to separate them apart._

_Currently I was now counting my breaths because I was bored out of my mind. Shifting and changing, either listening to my heartbeat or counting my wavering breaths. _

699 breaths later I could feel my limbs go numb and my mind shut down. If this was death I would take it gladly because I felt wary and I needed to rest. Relaxation gradually fell onto my nerves and veins slowly and every raging thought began to fade. It was like my whole body was anaesthetized that even the flames were deadening slowly.

Pure bliss drowned in me and then I awoke...

Opening my eyes, my sight blurred as I fazed into the situation but after blinking a few times, I was met with the ashen broken wooded roof. The planks of wood used to construct it had holes and cracks which gave me an insight to the time of the day and I found that it was night. Far away stars seemed up close as I squinted through the numerous gaps in the wooden ceiling. Curiously, I spectated the intricate unnoticeable swirls in the weathered wood that seemed to slowly erode over time indicating that it had been built along time ago. I could identify the minusculewood shavings in each plank and how they were all crowded together to create the plank itself.

And all of this I was seeing in…the dark?

Sitting up, I realised the motion was quicker than my usual pace. My motion had caused the specks of dust motes to stir in the slightly tainted air, which seemed to strongly smell of what I could only describe as rotten yeast and an even stronger stench of beer that had dried up mingled with the smell of sand dust. Bile rose to my throat from the overwhelming **stench**.

Wait - something was definitely wrong with me – how could I see dust motes so closely to me? But when looking around me, I watched as the microscopic dust motes floated around the atmosphere in a sort of beautiful grace. They reminded me of the gentle fall of snowflakes and how people used to dart out their tongues to catch them on their warm tongues and having them melt into water in their mouths.

Outside, I could hear the light bubble of overlapping water – a waterfall perhaps. The trickling sound was slightly soothing and I took a brief moment to revel in the peaceful sound of nature taking its course.

My thoughts were so fast that it'd only taken a sixteenth of a second and to make matters scarier, these rapid thoughts were understandable.

Standing up (again in an unknown quick speed), I stared wide eyed, searching my surrounding for any clue of where I was and why I was where and also what the fuck was happening to me. Searching for any indications, I noted the small size of the room but also the neglected state it was in as it was littered with debris; Cobwebs governed the available corners of the room; Shattered glass was around the room, along with broken bits of beer bottles that were scattered around the room. On one side of the wall, I could see a huge stain of beer that answered my question from before. It seemed that now I had noticed the source of the smell, it became more potent that I thought possible. I could see small crumbles of the wooden planks that made up the unstable walls erode because of the chemical imbalance in the alcohol added onto the age it had been neglected for. Most of the missing planks from the room had fallen down into the house itself and I wondered how I'd been left unscathed with none that had feel on me through my...unconsciousness. Looking around the deserted building, it felt like home was breathed onto me causing me to wrap my arms around myself in an involuntary shiver.

Exploring my surroundings, I bent down to look into the disregarded piece of glass that lay on the ground. Staring back at me was a woman - not just any women but a beautiful woman. Her heart shaped face held perfect cheekbones, two perfect pink lips that parted as I did. She was rather pale but then I froze as I stared into the blood red eyes triggering the response of dropping the glass in a sharp movement as the flashes rushed into my mind.

The pack...Jacob...Charlie...Truck...Some weird sound...Victoria... she bit- VICTORIA!

It was all coming back now. I fought mentally hard to focus on the blurred memories that invaded my mind as I tried to remember what had happened. I'd gone to Jacob- we'd been hanging around recently bec- Edward! The thought of his name broke me down and I slumped down to the ground. My fingers instinctively reached out to take hold of a shard of glass and once I found one, my fingers tightened around it as I squeezed it hard enough to create some sort of pain to relieve me from this numbness. However, the only result of my impulsive actions led to it being crushed into morsels of glass. But of course –

I was a vampire.

A vampire.

The thought easily fleeted through my mind but it seemed unnatural to apply it to myself. No feelings flared to this conclusion and I simply sat there, replaying the unfathomable statement and waiting for it to sink in.

I was a vampire. Isabella Swan was a vampire. Again, no emotion was elicited from this but it felt deviant to not feel anything about the whole transition.

Had it been what I wanted?

Yes, but what was the point of forever if I had no one to share it with?

I would have no one to care for me; no one to sit by my side and help me in my most vulnerable state, no one to help me with my erratic emotions, no one to make sure that I didn't slip up, no one to teach me how to be in control; no one to care for me…no one to love me…

I didn't want this – not anymore.

Then again, was I even a vampire?

This could just be another one of my vivid nightmares and this seemed logical because it explained why I wasn't reacting – why my body still and unmoving. It hadn't rejected the notion because it had taken it into account and a part of me knew it was real…by why wasn't I panicking? Screaming? Crying – well I couldn't do that but anything would be better than nothing.

The only proof of my recreation was the fiery burn in my throat and the strange hunger that fired up with my acknowledgement. It slowly began to spread through me and invade my thoughts as I felt a monster loose caged rattled the chains, begging for escape. However, as strong as it was, somehow I was more powerful because I was quick in diverting my thoughts.

What should I do now?

Well I couldn't stay here; the smell seemed to assault my nose so I knew I couldn't stay anymore. Standing up causally, I walked surprisingly gracefully through the rubble and clatter and out the door, freed from the disgusting stench of the building and welcomed into the fresh air that mingled with a comforting aroma of the dampened earth from a light rainfall.

A narrow rectangular window that emitted limited silver glimmer of the moon light was close to the ceiling. The silver light tickled the pane of the window creating a luminous sparkle as it reflected from the moonlight and I yearned to be outside.

I needed to get out of here.

They would all be worried – would Jake care for me anymore. And Charlie –

Charlie. I hadn't even thought about him. He might jump to conclusions and think I was dead. The Cullens had told me that the change lasted for three to four days – what if I've been declared missing and there was a search party out for me.

Had Victoria moved me away from Forks?

Walking towards the exit, I found the wooden door that was simply leaning on the doorway as the hinges were discarded.

I walked outside and the sounds of the cars' revving engine grew louder and I was about to follow the sound but a flash of red caught my eye from my peripheral view – it was my truck. There was a large distance of about thirty meters but I didn't pay it any mind when my muscles started flexing.

I raced to it and gasped at how fast I'd been travelling.

With quivering fingers, I reached down to grab the handle but when pulling to open the door, I ended up pulling the metal handle off the door. With gaping eyes, I looked at my hand and gasped before I stopped thinking about it and threw it to the ground but realised that the door was now stuck.

All I really needed to do w-

Not really thinking, I acted on impulse and reached out my fist so it could crack the glass. The delicious sound of the small crystal fragments clattering to the ground made me release a sound that was crossed between a laugh and a surprised gasp.

Glancing down to my hand, I expected to see it bleeding from the cuts from great impact from the broken shards of glass but when I saw my unscratched stone hand, I remembered everything but wasn't sure whether to be thankful or to sit down and cry.

Not that I could do that anyway.

I shouldn't be dwelling on this – I needed to check on Charlie but what if – No – I couldn't think like that.

Reaching inside the window of the truck, I grabbed the handle, hastily pushing so that the door was popped open. I then hurriedly jumped into the driver's seat and started the engine.

I needed to see my father.

I needed to make sure that he was okay.

**A/N: Will Bella be able to handle herself around her father? Review for more.**


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